Never Eat Alone - How to build a lifelong community of colleagues, contacts, friends, and mentors.

 Publisher : Currency-Doubleday (2005)

By Keith Ferrazzi

Reviewed by David Collins

Now here’s a surprising book! Imagine a ‘business book’ in which the author says; Helping someone accomplish his or her deepest desires is critical not only to forming a bond with someone but to keeping that bond strong and growing. Loyalty may be the forgotten virtue of the modern age, but it remains the hallmark of any strong relationship … Loyalty, to me, means staying true to someone through thick and thin … it’s better to give before you receive. And never keep score. If your interactions are ruled by generosity, your rewards will follow suit.

So goes the philosophy presented in Keith Ferrazzi’s book: this is no longer a dog-eat-dog world where independence and personal success are king. Today we need each other more than ever; and loyalty and generosity given to colleagues, your team, your friends and your customers is the “new currency”.

However, ‘Never Eat Alone’ is not just about a philosophy; it is an enjoyable and challenging book that presents a thorough and practical approach to building, maintaining and succeeding with relationships … hundreds of them (and in Ferrazzi’s case - thousands of them!) This is a book for our time: it’s key words are “relationships”, “connecting”, “network”; and although it took me two or three chapters to really get into, I became very grateful that I persevered and went on to read gem after gem of practical advice on the art of relationship building and network creation.

The more I read, the more I became convinced that this is not just an outstanding read for businesspeople, but a ‘classic’ for pastors and leaders in the Body of Christ. If only I had read this one twenty five years ago!

I have been especially inspired and helped reading the chapters titled …

Take Names         

Successful organisation and management of the information that makes connecting flourish is vital. I’m a list-taking madman, and you should become one ,too. If you’re organised, focused, and a stickler for taking names, there’s no one that’s out of reach.

Share Your Passions

Contrary to popular business wisdom, I don’t believe there has to be a rigid line between our private and public lives. Old-school business views the expression of emotions and compassion as vulnerability; today’s new businesspeople see such attributes as the glue that binds us.

Follow Up or Fail

When you meet someone with whom you want to establish a relationship, take the extra little step to ensure you won’t be lost in their mental attic.

Pinging - All The Time

It’s a quick, casual greeting, and it can be done in a number of creative ways. Once you develop your own style, you’ll find it easier to stay in touch with more people than you ever dreamed of in less time than you ever imagined. You have to keep pinging and pinging and pinging and never stop.

And I know you’ll get so much out of reading what Keith Ferrazzi has to say about “the bump”, the art of small talk, dinner parties that create wonderful memories, finding mentors and mentees. The book ends with a quote from the anthropologist Margaret Mead, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” Keith Ferrazzi has presented us with the tools to make that a reality … as I read them I found myself wanting to do them right away before I read the next chapter … some I did, others I certainly will; it’s just that sort of book.